Romans 12:18 – ‘If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.’
This is JUST STRAIGHT TALK. I’m R-E SAMPLE.
Today we’re going to talk about something that cuts deeper than most: family hurt. You know what I mean—the wounds that don’t always show up on the outside. The tension at the dinner table. The silence that says more than words. The feeling that the people who should’ve loved you the most let you down the hardest.
It might’ve been a parent who wasn’t there for you. A sibling who betrayed your trust. A child who turned away after all your sacrifices. Whatever it is, that kind of pain has a way of sticking around. But I want to tell you today—healing is possible. Peace is still available. Even if the situation never gets ‘fixed,’ you can still be free.
Jehovah, today we bring You our most personal pain. The kind that came from people with our blood, our name, our memories. Some of us are carrying wounds we’ve never spoken out loud. Some of us are still waiting on apologies that may never come. But we believe You are a healer—not just of bodies, but of broken hearts and homes. Teach us how to live with peace, even when the past didn’t go our way. In Jesus’ name—Amen.
Why Family Hurt Hits Different
When someone out in the world hurts you, you can chalk it up to life. But when it’s someone you trusted? Someone you looked up to or depended on? That’s a different kind of wound. It’s not just about the moment—it’s about everything that moment represented. Family is supposed to be your safe place. Your comfort. When that breaks, the whole foundation shakes.
Many people walk around smiling but are silently wounded by years of unresolved family trauma. Maybe you grew up without affirmation. Maybe you were compared, criticized, or dismissed. Maybe the people who raised you didn’t know how to show love in a way you could feel it. That doesn’t make your pain invalid. It makes it real.
Living with Unspoken Pain
A lot of family pain goes unspoken. We’re taught not to air out our dirty laundry. We’re told to ‘move on,’ to ‘let it go,’ to keep the peace. But peace without honesty isn’t real peace—it’s just silence.
If you’ve been stuffing your emotions for years, that weight will catch up to you. It may show up in anxiety, distrust, or even anger toward people who didn’t hurt you. That’s why healing matters. Because you deserve peace that’s genuine—not pretend. And God wants to give you that peace.
Steps Toward Healing
Healing family wounds doesn’t always mean a big reunion or tearful reconciliation. Sometimes it starts in prayer and moves in wisdom. Here are some steps to help:
1. **Acknowledge the hurt.** Don’t minimize it. If it hurt, it hurt.
2. **Talk to God first.** Tell Him everything. He understands better than anyone.
3. **Set healthy boundaries.** Healing doesn’t mean putting yourself back in harm’s way.
4. **Choose to forgive.** Not because they apologized—but because God is asking you to release it.
5. **Seek wise counsel.** Whether that’s a pastor, counselor, or trusted elder—don’t walk alone.
6. **Be open—but don’t force it.** If reconciliation is possible, praise God. If not, trust Him anyway.
Healing isn’t one moment—it’s a journey. And every step matters.
You May Never Get the Apology
Let’s talk about something hard: you might never get the apology you deserve. Some people will never admit what they did. Some will act like it never happened. Others might genuinely not see their role in your pain. And that’s painful—but it doesn’t have to stop your growth.
You can be free without their words. You can be whole without their confession. Why? Because your healing isn’t in their hands—it’s in God’s. Don’t wait for closure from a person who may not be capable of giving it. Get your closure from the One who knows all things and sees your heart.
What Peace Really Looks Like
Peace doesn’t always mean everything goes back to normal. It doesn’t always mean you’ll be close again or even talk regularly. Peace means the pain no longer controls your thoughts. It means you’ve given it to God. You’ve accepted the past, and you’re choosing not to let it poison your future.
Peace can mean saying, ‘I still love you, but I need space.’ It can mean saying, ‘I forgive you, even if you never change.’ And sometimes, peace is simply deciding not to carry the bitterness another day.
Romans 12:18 says, ‘If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.’ That means you do your part. You pray. You forgive. You show kindness where you can. But you also accept that some situations may not turn out the way you hoped.
God holds us accountable for our effort—not for the outcome. You can live with peace even if others choose drama. You can live with grace even if others stay stuck in blame. That’s what walking in the spirit looks like.
Family Can Be Rebuilt—But It Takes Time
Some family relationships can be rebuilt—but it’s not instant. It takes time, patience, humility, and trust. And most of all—it takes mutual willingness. If God opens the door for rebuilding, don’t rush it. Take it one day at a time. Celebrate small progress. And keep your expectations rooted in reality, not fantasy.
Sometimes rebuilding doesn’t look like going back—it looks like starting new. And that’s okay.
Family hurt is hard. But healing is holy. And today, you can begin that healing. Don’t wait for them to change. Don’t wait for everything to be perfect. Start now. Start with prayer. Start with forgiveness. Start with hope.
I’m R-E SAMPLE with JUST STRAIGHT TALK. Remember, peace doesn’t mean perfection—it means letting God lead the way.
I’ll see you next time.
Remember– Truth Don’t Change. JUST STRAIGHT TALK